Of fairies and pirates

Of Indians and gargoyles

Of fantasy and make-believe

Of love, escape and blue skies

To find for yourself

That place of retreat

That world of no time

That dream with hues aureate

Is not difficult or impossible

Is actually simple and with ease

If in your mind you are able

To imagine, believe and see what will please

So look for her and find her

That sojourn of many dreams

The one place you can escape to

When all else seems too real

Find your Neverland

In him or her or it

In anything that helps you escape

And elude time even for a bit

Because in that place

Everything is right

And all that brings you pain

Will fade into the night

When pain chokes you

When reality breaks you

Close your eyes and see

That place of hope and beauty

But remember, whenever you visit Neverland

Keep your mind free

Of doubt and hesitation

For that will away her breathe

Your mind and Imagination

Hold the key

So enter there wisely

And preserve her for eternity

Afraid to love you,

More afraid to lose

Bound by a present

That prevents me to choose

But I don’t want to

Let love pass me by

I want to give and recieve

And hope it is worth the try

When filled with doubt

About how I feel and need

I immediately shy away

And seethe silently within my greed

Fear makes me this way

Alone and lonely to stay

When will I awake from this simulated stupor?

When will I learn to stop pushing you away?

Each time you tell me

I feel your words resonate

I know there is no more real truth

Capable of sealing my fate

So I will try and I will labour

To be who I am without losing me

To love truly and endlessly

Because you make me a better me

For time may sway in and away

Giving and taking with the same charity

But carrying on is always worth it

For it is but memories that make up reality

Why does it have to be this way?

Why do u fly away?

Why are you never here to stay?

When I want you the most

I do not know why

I merely take flight

That is what I do, despite cries

And prayers for respite

Why does it always happen?

Constantly, persistently and frequently

With the same harsh, maiming effect

When you are supposed to cause change

I do cause change

Because that is what I do

But I have no control over what happens

As Change and Choice are two

Why is it so difficult?

Why does it never get easier?

Why do you always make it harder?

When you are supposed to heal and soothe

I heal those who want to be healed

I love those who want to feel love

I find those who want be found

And you obviously are not of such drove

When will I ever learn?

When will I ever be free?

When will I ever be able to see?

Of the life I dream of, bereft of your shackles

Only when you want to

More than anything else in the world

I am incapable of taking from you

The one thing that you take from the world

How do you wield such power?

How do you know of such hope?

How have you been given such strength?

When you remain alone and unknown

I am power

I am hope

I am strength

How have you not known?

Will I get to see you?

Will I know who you are?

Will I ever walk with you?

Being of whom I am enthralled and in awe

You already see, because you know

You already know, because you are

You already are, because you walk

Being who is unique and rare

He returned that night

Only to never walk through the door again

He sneaked away, no idea why

Only if he could tell me..why then? 

He went to his favourite stretch

Of curves and blinding streak

He revved his engine

To feel his thrill for speed

He drove off,

Off the road

And was found,

Lost and out of mode

I wasn’t there,

To witness the disaster

To experience the pain and loss

That refuses to register after

But when I heard, I knew

No little accident would keep him

He was dead, I knew

No alternative explanation was possible

I arrived to a home I knew no longer

I soothed a couple who had lost all

I stood and spoke amidst everyone

And told myself he was not gone

He is still in the universe

He is still around

He hasn’t left me, how could he?

When he is all I have as ground.

I still shiver, I still shake

To think I may be wrong

To believe that he will never really go

And leave me with my horrors for long

A song from the radio

A movie we watched

A person we laughed at

Is that all I have got?

I am constantly reminded

He still loves me

But my baseless reality

Refuses to feel this with sincerity

The palatial bungalow I will never own

The Harley I will never proudly gift

The countries we will never visit together

Is ironically what keeps me adrift

Because in hoping and believing

That we will do what we wanted to

Lies the hope of my existence

And my home of true bliss

I have known her long enough,

To feel I have known her before me

I think she reflects my every thought

And is the real-life mirror of me

She is the only woman

I can understand and feel

And the moments we have shared

Are crystals of time suspended in reel

The journey with her

Has been blissful yet sharp

The time spent with her

Has taught me more than I can grasp

We move in and out of

Our respective spirals

That overlap and intertwine

And ultimately bind us in silence

It still remains a whole new world

Of experiences and hope

Although we know our walk

Is but of pre-orchestrated scope

It is the same yet new

It is untold yet renewed

It is like light unlearning herself

Each time she dons a new hue

She doesn’t tell him she loves him

She doesn’t tell him when she is blue

She would rather dwell in her misery

Despite knowing he will find out without being given a clue

She loves him silently and in private

She despises him and demeans him in public

She pretends her heart is bereft of jealousy

But is filled with rage the moment he mentions a frolic

She has had them all: simple, complex and plain

She has loved them too

She has broken them all: gingerly, harshly and with pain

And wishes now, something had remained

He loves her more than anything

He tells her this openly

He has put everything on the line

In the hope she will return some occassionally

He stands by her always

He watches as she strides

Through her battered, torn existence

And offers whatever He can provide

He has loved her only: then, now and for always

He has no greater joy

He has been broken endlessly: by her repetitive chasms and frays

And hopes someday He will suffice

They stand at cross-purposes

They await the other’s change

They live without existing

In a world of beings strange

They love each other

There is no loneliness like theirs

They need each other

There is no happiness like theirs

When apart, they wonder

When together, they share

When speaking, they picture

When listening, they bare

They remain their selves

When they be together

For complete unity of both

Will lose all, one or the other

They hope for the other

And enjoy this truth

That in each other’s joy

Is the only fruit

They love each other

There is no loneliness like theirs

Will they stay with each other

And make this happiness theirs?

She doesn’t tell him she loves him

She doesn’t tell him when she is blue

She would rather dwell in her misery

Despite knowing he will find out without being given a clue

She loves him silently and in private

She despises him and demeans him in public

She pretends her heart is bereft of jealousy

But is filled with rage the moment he mentions a frolic

She has had them all: simple, complex and plain

She has loved them too

She has broken them all: gingerly, harshly and with pain

And wishes now, something had remained

He loves her more than anything

He tells her this openly

He has put everything on the line

In the hope she will return some occassionally

He stands by her always

He watches as she strides

Through her battered, torn existence

And offers whatever He can provide

He has loved her only: then, now and for always

He has no greater joy

He has been broken endlessly: by her repetitive chasms and frays

And hopes someday He will suffice

They stand at cross-purposes

They await the other’s change

They live without existing

In a world of beings strange

She crept into my bed everyday

To play a game she called ‘Sanjay and Rema’

She held me close to her

And made me feel bare

I looked forward to this displeasure

With an eagerness of a child who knew no better

They pushed me off my bike one evening

Amidst the people who strolled without feeling

They knew what they wanted from me

And I gave not knowing what I was losing infinitely

I haunt my sleep with silent screams

And am broken within my stoic dreams

I hate her still, I loathe them yet

I hope to live despite my regret

With these images of endless maimer

I hide my past beneath my exterior

To know you are alone

Is to know you are without

To understand you need someone

Is to acknowledge you are out

Of self-belief and confidence, and need

Love and whatever it is about

To see this in full light

Is to let darkness in

To want more than you have

Is to let darkness win

To give away what u have

Is to trade with another your within

This is what he is

Powerful in his might

Hopeful in his promises

Darkness is my light

With bright depression awaiting me at the seams

He is the warm body for my night

Time is all that separates us

A being given far more strength than it possesses

Darkness and I understand this

And fear not the distance between us

Because in understanding that darkness is light

Time is but a memory that fades without a fuss

When the truth is seen against dark light

It sears even the eyes of the tearless one

With the power of breaking you from within

It stares you in the face with kindness none

And eventually you are left hoping

in the truth of promises you have won

That is all you are left with

Alone and without

Hopeful promises and occasionally warm beds

Walking in and walking proud

Desperately hoping and praying you do not need

Love and whetever it is about.